No fancy new clothes, no cool new stores, no nice new weapons, no good side missions, nothing. There's just more of it, for one - I spent fifteen hours in SR3 and I feel like I could drag nothing more out of it. Saints Row 2, on the other hand, comes across less enthusiastically at first but is ultimately a better game. I just wasn't having fun and wasn't looking forward to, well, anything during the last hour. I remember getting to the endgame and thinking that even Bonnie Tyler's humorous playing of "I NEED A HERO"! wasn't funny at all. I just found that Saints Row The Third has less entertainment and it hits a point where it isn't that much fun anymore. Rain looks especially bad, and one area where Saints 3 hasn’t held up well is seeing the same male and female grunts shooting at you hundreds of times.I like some of the things in Saints Row the Third, and I think the craziness is pretty fun, but ultimately I think that Saints Row 2 is the better game. Yes, you can tell that the car models have been redone, the character models have been touched up, and the daytime lighting is better in general, but it doesn’t look anywhere near as good as something made in 2020 – and a good remaster should at least be plausible as a modern game. I played on PC, and even on Ultra settings it didn’t really inspire any awe. The fresh coat of paint slathered over the top of Steelport honestly isn’t all that attractive. New PaintI do wish Saints Row 3 had more going on in the remaster department. The goal: to cause as much pain to yourself as humanly possible in a few minutes.
And I’m not sure any open-world game’s side quest or secondary activity has given me more joy than the self-destructive Insurance Fraud mode, which combines intentionally over-the-top video game physics with the sensibility of a Looney Tunes cartoon while challenging you to throw your limp body in front of moving vehicles. Mayhem, in which you’re given a set amount of time and unlimited ammunition for certain weapons like grenades or a rocket launcher to cause as much property damage and destruction as possible, is still gleefully fun. Saints Row 3 also layered a lot of fun extracurricular activities on top of the comic-book-meets-gang-warfare story.
There are two equally funny endings that I guarantee you won’t see coming. Even Saints 3’s story – often a weak point in open-world jack-of-all-trades games like this – is worth seeing through.
There was jumping out of a helicopter and parachuting down to reclaim your gang’s old rooftop penthouse to the tune of Kanye West’s “Power.” And no matter how many times I play it, I’ll still have a big smile on my face while cruising around singing along to Sublime’s classic ‘90’s tune “What I Got.” Its progression is still smart, too completing missions, activities, and daring driving earns you respect and money, which can be cashed in for upgrades like dual-wielded pistols, NPC gang members you can call in as backup during battles, and increasingly stupid weapons and vehicles. That relatability laid the foundation for some of its most memorable moments in 2011, and those remain fantastic in 2020.
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Saints Row 3, while comically over-the-top, was nevertheless the last Saints game to have one foot still planted in reality before number 4 went full Matrix and Mass Effect on us. Here’s why you should play this game, if you haven’t yet. I just thought that if Volition was going to go to all the trouble of remastering this hilarious GTA satire for 4K systems, it would’ve done a little more to live up to the gracefully aging gameplay. I bring that up because it puts me in a pretty good position to confidently say that Saints Row The Third remains not only my favorite Saints game, but also still a decidedly fun one nearly a decade after it first came out.
Saints Row The Third? More like this is the third time I’ve reviewed Saints Row 3, and the second in as many years after last Fall’s technically shaky Nintendo Switch port.
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